Friday, March 15, 2019

Not A New Thing

Alright…I’m doing it. I’m writing a blog post. I know that vlogs are the new thing but I am not a new thing folks. I’m fucking oooooold. I attribute this to my second born who has been rapidly aging me since he inhabited my womb. (which is now closed AF BTW).

So, these days aside from just staying alive and keeping my children alive, which is almost ALL I have time to do, I have gone back to work after 18 months of mat leave! Thank-you Canada! It’s pretty wild having all that time off. It was certainly not a vacation since caring for the above mentioned second child was harder than ANY job I’ve ever done and still is…it was still really nice to hop off the capitalism treadmill for a bit...A couple weeks back at the grind of “make money, money, make money money… “I find myself wishing I could just wake up at the crack of dawn and go milk a goat, you know?  While gazing at a dew-covered, sunny pasture?  Of course, I know better than most that the reality of this fantasy has its own set of drawbacks including actually raising any kind of livestock. Ew.

So back to real life… I am enjoying being back at work. Using my brain, wearing nice clothes, even the commute has been quite nice. What has actually prompted me to write the blog is that I have been so starved for human connection for so long that I fear I might be talking too much at work! I’m not sure these people realise that they are literally The. Only. Adults. I talk to without being interrupted by a kid needing something from me. A glass of milk, a diaper change, a hug, a nose cleaning, a meal, a spanking (lol joking). I swear to god the only uninterrupted conversations I have with my husband are had in whispers because they are finally sleeping! So, when I get to work I’m like…HELLO WORLD, TALK TO ME!!! So maybe if I blabber on to the expanse of the internet for a bit I’ll be able to hold back a little IRL.

So, thank-you for listening my internet friends. I’m always a little reluctant to put stuff like this out there because it’s so unimportant and there is soooooo many important things to talk about, that NEED to be talked about, that ARE being talked about by highly knowledgeable people that deserve to be listened to. I’m just one more middle class white lady having a good ole white wine on blogger GAH! Is there room for this? Should I just buy a journal?

Oh well, too late.
All my love,

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Wednesday, April 5, 2017

I Need To Create!

So I’ve discovered podcasts recently because I’m about 5 years or more behind popular culture apparently… Anyway,  I feel like a switch in my brain got flicked on and suddenly I’m a critically thinking human again and not just an obsessive helicopter mother! It’s not like I listened to anything particularly monumental, I think I just tapped into some buried interests that I had forgotten about. A good book may have accomplished the same but they take too long to find, to read, and I live fast. So ya…Podcasts!

My 30’s  have been filled with these bouts of self realization and this most recent self discovery is probably going to ward off some early onset dementia if I'm lucky. The amount of Paw Patrol I have put myself through has surely done damage to my frontal cortex that needs age appropriate cultural stimulation to be repaired. After a couple years of focusing all of my energy on being a good mother I’m realizing now that I haven’t been giving much thought to nurturing my own creativity and MY brain!  I got a little lost in my life…in the daily grind....which is such a 1st world problem, I know.

Becoming a mother is a wonderful life altering experience and the love that comes with it is absolutely indescribable. It basically consumed every fiber of my being and I was just this body filled with motherly love. I lived and breathed this new found purpose and I have been a damn good mother to my beautiful daughter because of it. Buuuut, I went a little cooky and it’s time to take a step back. My husband recently reminded me that I don’t need to RUN to her at the end of everyday. I could take a leisurely walk to daycare and maybe make something not very nutritious for dinner once in a while to avoid the rush…make some space for me.. It’s not gonna hurt her! The day after he said that I didn’t run to the street car after work, I stopped at a vintage clothing store on my way to daycare. We ate late. It was invigorating and life did not come crashing down. I actually felt like a better mother than ever because I was being the mother I had always envisioned myself being, the mother I want Eloise to know she can also be one day...the mother who has a life of her own.

Big breath…SO, the hurdle I now face is figuring out just what kind of a creative outlet I crave. I’ve got so much in my brain it’s hard to focus on one thing and actually DO something. I’ll get on Pinterest looking for a pattern or something and all of a sudden an hour has passed and I’m hungry and then….Netflix. You know what I’m talking about. It’s like I WANT to get back to doing this creative stuff but it’s damn hard to have the energy required when you’ve got the job and the kid and legs to shave!

So ya…maybe I’ll start with a hair clip? A blog post? I think the key is to just do something for the sake of it and not think about it too much. I went to this ACT therapy session in the summer and we did this exercise to figure out what kind of values you have as a person and how your life is measuring up to them. It was a great way to see where you need to focus to live a happier life. The big thing I needed to work on, according to the exercise, was ‘Leisure'. I didn’t really do anything to just bring joy. I kind of laughed it off at the time and was like…ya, ya, I’ve got wine. Seriously though?  That chick was right! I needed some damn leisure! I need to create!

Thanks for letting me pipe in after all this time…hope life has been treating you all well.

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Thursday, June 23, 2016

Inspire Me Thursday

Hello Good People!

Thank the heavens it’s Thursday AND I’m off tomorrow AND it’s my mother fucking BIRTHDAAAAY on Friday…What, What! *raising the roof like someone born in 1984*

But on a darker note, my FAV... I’ve been on a roller coaster of worry lately. Big surprise right? This world is so messed up and my mental state is having a hard time handling it. This time my usual mental breakdown was mixed with a newly found fear of death! So this experience has been super special! In moments like these after I cry, yell at dangerous drivers, drink copious amounts of wine, lay awake grinding my teeth thinking about worst case scenarios as my heart pounds out of my chest, I always turn to my better, more rational half and he always has a way of snapping me out of my irrational fears with his impeccable logic mixed with irritation. Thank-GOD for him or I’d be more of a nutcase than I already am. I love this man so much. You’d be amazed at his ability to say the exact right thing to make you feel better. I haven’t been able to escape my anxiety but I’m doing my best to evaluate risks with a level head and respond accordingly. My goal is to live in the moment so I don’t spend the good times worrying about the possible bad times. This is a ridiculous habit I have that can spiral out of fucking control rendering me an agoraphobic.. so instead I gotta try real hard to stay on the right side of the sanity spectrum and fiercely defend all the love in my world.

I think I might get this tattooed on my forehead. And how are you guys? ; )
P.S It's a temporary tattoo you can buy online.  Would be the perfect gift to a new mom or anyone in your life with the worry gene.

And back to fashion to find my peace.
Denim. Always. Works.
 A beach day craft...that I will likely never do because my child would insist on "helping" every step of the way.  Bless her good intentions.
  I think I have to buy this.
I have a very similar chair that I have been patiently waiting to attach to something strong enough. This wait is going on 3 years but I still have hope.
I DIY'd some shade sails the other day to shield myself from the rays...value village table cloths.

Working on a post about feminism so get ready ladies... I'm riled up.
And lastly, in general I must

Have a lovely weekend!
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Thursday, April 28, 2016

Inspire Me Thursday

Hello there.. we're nearing the end of the week and I'm loosing steam! I'm thinking about warm weather fashion, indoor plants and smashing up the patriarchy!

You know, I think I should probably do my feet a favour and get on this running shoe trend while it lasts...and mom jeans could not have come back at a better time. : )


Current Mood...
Loving these graphic tees.
Perfect for that special lady in your life..

Happy Thursday everybody!
Love Desiree
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Tuesday, April 26, 2016

My Skin: A Love Story

 Hello my friends...I’m having a real moment with my skin right now and I’m going to tell you about it at the risk of possibly oversharing some pretty personal details about myself, but hey, I’m technically a millennial so it kind of comes with the territory…so get comfortable or close your browser and come back later if you don’t want to hear about my endocrine system. : )

Natural skin care is one of my favourite topics because discovering it really changed my life and I want to tell anyone who will listen. I struggled with acne and oily skin starting in grade 5! I covered my face in cheap shitty, orange, cover girl foundation and powder which I scrubbed off with harsh cleansers, spot treatments, and oxy pads…Nothing worked and it seemed like the more I washed my face the more oily it became! As I got older my products got more expensive but my skin didn’t really improve…now I had dry AND oily skin with pimples AND wrinkles! I wouldn’t face a soul without a full face of makeup on. It wasn’t until I started to try and get pregnant that I started to face the fact that my entire body was out of whack. My periods were irregular, my skin was bad, my hormones were all over the map, even my scalp was itchy and flaky! I got diagnosed with a minor case of PCOS and on one of my many tearful trips to Dr. Google I found the book No More Dirty Looks which led me down this crazy path of throwing away thousands of dollars worth of cosmetics, reading many many more books on women's health and making some pretty drastic changes to my diet and lifestyle. The diet and lifestyle stuff took a hit once I got pregnant but I’m back on that train now and have never felt better. (More on that later.)The skin/hair care has remained steady for over three years now because my skin and hair look better now than it did when I was 11 years old! No joke.

'No More Dirty Looks' lists all the ingredients that are bad that are found in so much of our over the counter cosmetics and then it tells you what that means. The thing that hit me the hardest was that some of these ingredients were proven to be hormone disruptors…and are actually linked to PCOS! Here I am with all these problems and I’ve been wearing this shit day and night for more than half my life! I was done. I literally went home, got a garbage bag and threw away EVERYTHING. I was pretty empowered about the whole thing and I had no choice but to do a 'skin cleanse' because I got rid of everything and still hadn’t found organic replacements. After a few days of minimal makeup and only using organic soap, my skin was already looking better.

It took me a while to relearn everything I knew about skincare and to research products that were clean but I think the biggest lesson was learning that stripping your face of oil will not make it less oily, it will do the opposite. I started doing the oil cleansing method with 'grapefruit balm by Stark Skincare. (A major ingredient is organic coconut oil). My skin was so soft, not dry, and NOT oily at all. I did get some zits but eventually they went away and I was left with clear, hydrated skin. Serious game changer. I realized I didn’t have oily skin at all, it was dry and i was just messing up the oil production of my face by using super drying cleaners. All these products that we use disguise our skin and we really have no idea what condition it really is in until we stop using everything.

Since then, I’ve used some super awesome, super expensive organic stuff that has been amazing for my skin, but terrible on the bank account, so I started to simplify my routine and DIY some stuff.  My original routine was shared here if you want to have a look at the specifics but I've made some changes since then. Right now I’m cleansing with coconut oil (organic, raw) and then using Manuka Honey as a face mask (OH MY GOD MANUKA HONEY, I think it deserves a post of its own), rinsing that off and putting my face serum on (One Love Organics, Love Springs Eternal). To oil cleanse you use about a tsp of coconut oil...warm it up in your hands and rub it all over your makeup covered dry face and remove it with a warm soft wash cloth. I only splash my face with water in the morning and then put more serum on under my makeup. I’ve also started using a Konjac Sponge…which I got at Noah's Health Food Store.  It’s a good exfoliator when I feel like a scrub.

It’s been a few months of just using the coconut oil, Manuka honey and serum and my skin is looking AMAZING. People comment on it. I catch myself looking at it and touching it often and Eloise has started to caress my face. This is huge for me and I've been telling everyone I meet to toss out the soaps and cleaners and just get yourself some coconut oil and honey! Just be sure to get organic since you don't want to be putting pesticides on your face. Your local health food store will have both.

If you're interested in reading some of the books that have helped me on this skin journey I strongly recommend 'No More Dirty Looks' and 'Skin Cleanse'. I've linked them for purchase but if you have a Toronto Library Card you can read the ebook online for free! Isn't that great!?

Thanks so much for reading,

Next we can dive right into into how I’m balancing my hormones with hurry back now. ; )

Love Desiree

The beautiful illustration above is by Ensee and it pretty much sums up my current mood. Pin It

Thursday, April 21, 2016

Inspire Me Thursday

This week has not been my favourite. It's felt a bit cursed so yay for Thursday and bring on the inspirations...and wine! It's a scattered collection to match my inner dialogue.

 I am so over helmet head! My hair today is an embarrassment. Today my mission is to buy a new headscarf and wrap up this sweaty mess. Eva Mendes pulls it off pretty well.
 And in the theme of laziness...the best bedding is the kind that looks good messy, and the best height is the kind that if a kid jumps off it they won't break their neck. These were my bedding inspirations...

 And here's a bad picture of what I came up with...still a work in progress but I'm pretty into this bed...
 What a great idea this is for herbs! I want to do some urban gardening this summer...but I hope to get more than my usual handful of cherry tomatoes! I find that the problem with gardening is the ongoing effort it takes to keep things alive...I'm pretty lazy.
 I've been scouring Pinterest for small backyard inspirations for our current reno... I love the idea of a swing under the pergola!
 And again, how awesome would a living roof be!?

or a slide off a tiny deck...
 a DIY water station? I'm basically looking for a backyard retreat where I can lock the gate and sit back and enjoy a cocktail with friends, or alone...while our children are occupied. This may be an unrealistic goal but I can dream. Suggestions?
I love this look but imagine what it would look like if a kid actually lived here? I picture the wreath bent, every white surface covered in an unexplained stain, the plant tipped over with dirt everywhere, and toys covering all the empty space. Sound about right?
Speaking of a walking mess maker, I bought Eloise this nightlight for Christmas and every night we turn it on and she sings a rainbow song before bed. How sweet is that. :) A good buy.

Happy Thursday folks...and thanks for reading.

Love Desiree
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Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Inspire Me Thursday

Hello lovers. Back by popular demand I give you Inspire Me Thursday...; )

I can't find this plant anywhere!

Loving this hat and dress.
 I bought a bralette this winter and now I fully consider the bra a part of any outfit. Got a shirt that's too revealing? A sweater that gives a free show every time you bend over? Bralette! Get one.

A nude scarf. Hmm. I like.

Moody shades are really inspiring my home decor these days. I'm loving this shade for a little girls room.
And I'm painting my hallway this colour on the weekend.
A beautiful bouquet back-dropped by my beloved navy wall in my kitchen.
 Inspired to try macrame! 
This woman is my hair muse...and now she's gone and done it again with the bang part. Feeling it.
Major back yard renovation underway...thinking about putting in a green roof! How fun would that be...for the racoons.
I made these lace up ballet flats in an hour. Follow this link to try to make a pair of your own. Spring will be here...tomorrow I'm pretty sure.
 Word to the denim pencil skirt!
 So, can I wear 90's throwback trends even though I was wearing them in the actual 90's?
Thanks for reading guys! 
Love Desiree
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